Where I’m at and what I’m doing: sur mon balcon, au crepescule (on my balcony at dusk…poetic in either language)
Why I’m posting: deleting previous post and reposting
For those that subscribe to my blog or happened to check it last night or this morning, this post may seem less or more confusing. It’s only about 20 of you, but hey, even Ariana Huffington started slow (incidentally, I don’t even read The Huffington Post anymore). I will consider this post “Post 51,” which will replace the soon-to-be-infamous “Post 50,” which I can only imagine will be the subject of considerable debate, legend, and lore on the blogosphere.
“Post 50” was, in a sense, a rant about how I was getting older (my 28th birthday was last week) and how I don’t care about anything anymore. Actually, since I was able to sum that up in one sentence, it makes me wonder why that was a whole blog and not just a Tweet. Of course, I don’t have Twitter (or Facebook), so I suppose by “Tweet,” I mean yelling off my balcony.
Less than a day later, though, I’ve found a bit more perspective. What seemed yesterday like a dire loss of dedication was really just a less dire loss of direction. Conveniently, we had a briefing on how and why to periodically do an “Azimuth Check.” That is to say, re-orient ourselves along the line between where we started and where we want to be. This is something I used to do on a nearly daily basis. Heck, my first real poem ever was entitled “The Road to Where I Want to Be.” But all of this transitioning had recently caused me to lose my sense of direction a little as new information, experiences, and people hit me from all sides.
So bearing in mind that this blog has a few very important readers – and by “few” I mean all of you are very important…there’s just not all that many of you yet – I decided to re-post and focus not so much on bitterness, but a rambling sense of hope. In fact, if you read every 10th letter, this post actually reads “Learning to hope again. Stay strong, friends.” Probably.
(NOTE: I just checked. Through the intro, it actually spells: AOBEMTCAIEVNG. And if you’re into anagrams, which I’m not, you can rearrange that to be “I bet on me C ago.” C could be roman numeral C, for 100 yrs, which in Latin, was the time period used colloquially to signify “forever” or “ages.” So the letters actually could be read as “I bet on me ages ago.” Which actually is very hopeful. Wow…that’s actually kind of strange. And I promise that I randomly selected 10 letters and didn’t plan that at all.)
Okay, Aziumuth, checked. Post 50, deleted. Joke about Alexander the Great from previous post, lost forever. C’est la vie.