demark!

“Con-gone” or “Bombs over Brazza”

In Uncategorized on March 13, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Where I’m at: Cape Town, South Africa (but more on that later)

What I’m doing: still feeling slightly guilty. Why? How about because I’m not currently living next to this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why I’m posting: catching everyone up on significant events. Finally.

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It’s been ages since I posted, and even longer since I posted anything worthwhile. Is it because nothing interesting has happened in our lives in Brazzaville? Normally, that might be true, but this time it certainly isn’t. In fact, I’ve been involved in so much interesting stuff – both wonderful and terrible – in the last month that I simply haven’t had time to blog. That, plus the virtually non-existent internet connection at our Brazza home has made uploading pictures nearly impossible. Unfortunately, for the post that I should be getting to fairly soon about my trip into the “Heart of Darkness” in Congo’s northern jungles, the slow picture uploads may no longer be a problem as our computer (which had the pics on it) was stolen at the front end of our South African adventure (which itself will be a subsequent post). See?! Procrastination solves everything.

This post, however, is neither about our happy travels nor about cheeky remarks. As many of you will know by now, on the morning of March 4, half of Brazzaville blew up due to (officially) an electric problem that caused a fire at a munitions depot in the heart of Brazzaville. As you’ll see from the photos that one of our brave (crazy?!) friends took in the areas of the blast – which still have unknown quantities of unexploded munitions at them – the devastation was widespread, awful, and shocking. How a munitions depot sits in the middle of the most crowded neighborhood of a capital city (let alone how it is managed) is a matter of speculation on which I cannot comment publicly due to my official position. But suffice to say, you can draw your own conclusions. Having been in the middle of the action, I wasn’t reading as much of the media coverage (e.g. it was the top story on CNN on Day 2) as we scrambled to start relief efforts, but I think the media probably did a fair job of covering events, so I defer to some of its coverage to permit readers to get a sense of the situation in order to draw conclusions. Let me say, though, that this was not an isolated incident, with this having happened at least 2 other times in the last 3 years at other munitions depots, albeit on a much smaller scale. But for my readers’ benefit, I’ll recount our own role in the story, which will not have been covered in the press (the paparazi have not yet discovered us!), and so which might be of interest.

At about 8am, Sunday, March 4, we were still in bed, having spent a late night out with friends on Saturday night discussing our next post possibilities as we prepared to submit our bid list (NB: we just found out about an hour ago where we’re headed in October 2013! I’ll leave the suspense for a subsequent post !). First, we heard a dull, but serious crash, which woke us up, but which we thought could be anything from a heavy gate being slammed shut to a tree limb slamming one of the tin roofs around. I remember asking aloud, “What was that?” Receiving no answer but “urgagugghhh” from a groggy Colleen, I laid back down. About 5 minutes later, another louder crash came. This time, I was sure that a tree limb had fallen from one of the trees in our yard onto a roof. I got out of bed and looked through the window, expecting to see a very windy morning and tree parts strewn across the yard. As I looked out, though, there was absolutely no wind and I saw our guard walking across the lawn radioing the embassy. I then heard our upstairs neighbor call out his question to the guard about what was happening. Our guard said that Kinshasa, DRC was bombing Brazzaville. Mind you, this is what everyone in Brazzaville thinks all the time, partly due to their justifiable concern about the sleeping giant next door and partly because people are still very scarred by the civil wars in the 90s. Moreover, I had heard this same guard say the same thing when Independence Day fireworks went off last year in Kinshasa, so his statement caused me no alarm. Still, the noises were strange, and I decided to pull our emergency radio into the room and turn up the volume.

When I turned on the radio, I heard the call sign of one of our wardens (volunteers, usu. American citizens, that help as info passers for the American communities abroad) doing an excellent job of radioing in to check in and ensure the lines of communication were open. Unfortunately, there was no official answer (also not unusual- we don’t always have the most professional or English-proficient local staff). Then, a very violent blast shook the whole house, knocking some things off shelves. I heard Colleen jump out of bed with a start, the dog barking, and then a few seconds later, an audibly shaken wife of the Regional Security Officer (who was supposed to be in Kinshasa for work, but who had returned early, unbeknownst to us at the time) come on the radio and call all American staff to the embassy as quickly as possible. We found out soon that their house had had all of its windows completely blown in by that blast, making the trepidation in her voice understandable. Mind you, we still didn’t know what was going on at this point, and the only (mis)information that we had was that a bomb had hit the city. However, we stayed calm and grabbed essentials (for me: pants, official badge, phone, leatherman, flashlight) and headed for the door. The only problem was that our car was/is broken (another saga for another time; moral: never ask a Congolese “mechanic” to figure out what a noise from your car is). I told Co to stay put as I went upstairs to ask our neighbor, also an embassy employee, for a ride and to make sure he heard the call to come in. As I stood in the 2nd floor doorway talking to him, I turned and looked towards the city. There is an empty lot next to us; at that moment, I heard an enormous blast, and almost instantaneously saw a wave of sound/energy/godknowswhat moving across the lot towards me. A split second later, I was thrown back several feet into the wall and had the heavy door slam into me. Our neighbor and I started to move quickly towards the car and I could hear Co yell that we needed to leave NOW. I yelled back to meet us at the car, halfway between us. Seconds later, dog in arms and not knowing what was happening, we sped away to the embassy. We live close to the presidential work palace, so there are always military around. But that morning, there were dozens all over, all looking frantic and confused. Minutes and many broken traffic laws later, we were at the embassy.

Throughout the rest of the day, we all pitched in to try to figure out what was going on, to attend to the Americans and others showing up at our gates (our embassy being probably the only structurally sound building in the entire city), and then to figure out next steps, incl. needs for recovery. As a Pol/Econ/Consular officer, I was frequently shuttling between helping American citizens, then Allied countries’ citizens, and ultimately anyone that came, as well as trying to get the scoop on the situation and connecting with anyone and everyone. At first, this was nearly impossible as all the phone networks were overwhelmed and radio/tv were shut off. Moreover, not a single Congolese official answered their phones. Those initial hours could have thus been filled with panic, especially as blasts continued throughout the day and some injured started to show up at the gates. But for both the Foreign Service readers and non-government types alike, you should be proud of your diplomats that everyone not only kept their cool, but accomplished an amazing amount in those first few hours with virtually no ICT assistance and incredibly short-staffed. Within hours, we had accounted for all Americans (save 1 child, whom we later found safe), which unfortunately required trips to the morgues (moral #2: as I’ve mentioned to some already, NEVER EVER die in a place like Brazzaville. You do not want to see how your body would be treated; I’ve seen pictures of concentration camps during WWII, and the piles of broken, mangled, and bloodied bodies in those morgues reminded me of those). Moreover, we had kept the press informed and had already gotten relief efforts underway, incl. with plans for what was needed, how we would get it, when we would get it, whom we would work with, etc. Unfortunately, the pictures were just starting to come in, as were some of the awful, but sometimes harrowing stories. One family of friends, for instance, lived just a few hundred meters away from the blast site. Their windows/frames/doors were totally blown in, to the point where glass flew across the room and stuck all over their walls. Their child’s playroom was completely destroyed. They spent every Sunday morning in that playroom. For some reason, they decided that Sunday morning to go to church…for the first time ever in Congo. It saved their life. But lest you read too much into the spirtuality of that, they happened to choose to go to a church on the other side of town that morning. Had they gone to one of the 3 churches near them, they would have fared worse, as all 3 collapsed during the blasts, killing everyone inside. Wow.

There were many stories like that, but not all with the same positive ending. Nevertheless, working virtually 24 hours/day (22 actually) for the next week, everyone pitched in to get much needed help onto the ground. Again, I cannot say enough about how well not only our diplomats, but also family members, our wardens, and the rest of the international community responded. Lives were definitely saved due to quick action, even where slow or non-existent action by other actors jeopardized them. While the city is recovering, it is still in some danger as more of these depots are located around the city (thankfully none near our house), and many areas remain at risk for things as varied as cholera to measles (oftentimes deadly in Congo). The status quo has not been restored, even if the news cycle has moved on.

As you might imagine, there were many more anecdotes throughout the day, many of which unfortunately paint some in lights best left in the dark. To see, for instance, dozens of hospital workers at the city’s 2nd largest hospital and the one closest to the blast site sitting on their hands 4 days afterwards in the midst of literally decaying remains and broken structures, waiting for word to clean up rather than doing it was, to say the least, devastating to my belief in humanity. But as I said, some of these stories and feelings are best left in the dark for now. In lieu of more words, here are some pictures of what used to be an area of town with 250,000 – 300,000 people living in it.

Take care everyone! The next post will be soon and will be decidedly different!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

What’s my age again?

In Uncategorized on January 31, 2012 at 11:33 pm

Where I’m at: Brazzaville, just back from a trip to the north of Congo (see subsequent posts – coming soon! – for a journey into my madness in the jungle!)

What I’m doing: renewing my inspiration

Why I’m posting: it’s birthday season

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Though I was born on an October morn, the early part of the year is one of two major birthday seasons in my family. Between talking to my brother about his upcoming year following his 26th birthday and working through our friend Matty’s annual Top 10ish Albums of the Year (one of my favorite New Year’s events of every year), I’ve been inspired to share a birthday-related activity that I engage in every year.

First, I should note that this activity began when I was 18. For a number of reasons, I genuinely did not expect to live past 17, and it was with some shock that I celebrated my 18th birthday. From that year on, I’ve celebrated each subsequent birthday with thankfulness about my continued existence with a specially-chosen birthday song(s), usually which mentions that particular age. Looking back on these song choices, I’m reminded of my feelings at that time, my station in life, where I was living, who I was with, and what I imagined for my life going forward. It’s something I also enjoy doing – like many people – every New Year at midnight (thus, this post might be doubly relevant as it’s still technically January).

Having something like a song to remember that time helps. So I’ll share my songs and a little about my life at each of those years. If you’d like to comment on your own unique birthday or New Year’s celebrations, I’d love to hear it. Music deeply touches me, and that’s why this celebration is special to me. Without further ado, then, the list:

Age 18

What I listened to: “I’m 18” by Alice Cooper (though I first heard it as a remake by Creed. Don’t tell anyone I said that)

Where I was living: Middletown, Ohio

Why the song was relevant: Self-explanatory mostly. I wasn’t a big AC fan (except in Wayne’s World), but was very much into rock and felt like the song exemplified how I felt trapped between preparing to embark on what I thought would be my journey into adulthood (college…wrong there!).

Key lyric: “Lines form on my face and hands / Lines form from the ups and downs / I’m in the middle without any plans / I’m a boy and I’m a man / I’m eighteen / and I don’t know what I want”

Age 19

What I listened to: “Losing a Whole Year” by Third Eye Blind

Where I was living: South Bend, Indiana

Why the song was relevant: The singer finds a girl that loves him for his awesomeness and he feels used. For some reason, I thought I was awesome back then and that the song fit my life. But still, one of my favorite albums ever.

Key lyric: “Now you want to try your life of sin / You want to be down with the down and in / Always copping my truths / I kind of get the feeling like I’m being used….Losing a whole year”

Age 20

What I listened to: “Unwell” by Matchbox 20 [Years later, I pretended that I had, in fact, listened to the as-yet unreleased song “20 Years of Snow” by Regina Spektor, a song that ironically says the subject “lives in a matchbox”]

Where I was living: South Bend, Indiana

Why the song was relevant: The song had nothing to do with my age (just the band name), but at the time, I felt like I was losing my hard-fought identity in favor of an easier one. Still, I held onto who I was to make sure that it would still be who I would be.

Key lyric: (from “Unwell”) “I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired / I know right now you don’t care / But soon enough you’re gonna think of me / And how I used to be…me” (from “20 Years of Snow”) “I’m twenty years of clean / I never truly hated anyone or anything”

Age 21

What I listened to: “Guilty Conscience” by Eminem

Where I was living: South Bend, Indiana

Why the song was relevant: One of the song’s characters is a 21-yr old facing a moral dilemma at a party. That pretty much depicts college, doesn’t it?

Key lyric: (Just trust me that the lyrics say that. I wouldn’t suggest looking them up.)

Age 22

What I listened to: “Who do you love?” version by George Thorogood; “100 Years” by Five for Fighting

Where I was living: South Bend, Indiana

Why the song was relevant: Both singers mention being 22 and reflecting on their respective lives. The former was one of the songs that gave me the idea to start this tradition, so I had to listen to it, though I did, in fact, mind dying at the time! The latter is a sappy, maybe-embarrassing-to-mention song that reflected how I felt about my then-girlfriend, now-wife. Hopefully we’ll all get 100 years.

Key quote: (from “Who do you love?”) “I’m just 22 and I don’t mind dying”  (from “100 Years”) “I’m twenty-two for a moment / She feels better than ever / And we’re on fire / Making our way back from Mars”

Age 23

What I listened to: “What’s my age again?” by Blink-182; “Dancing Nancies” by Dave Matthews Band

Where I was living: San Diego, California

Why the song was relevant: Both songs were several years old by then, but I had mentally set them aside for this tradition. It was made better by my living with Irish and Romanian students at the time, thus giving them a flavor of some of the various types of “rock” music I had grown up listening to. PS: That DMB album nearly ruined my life at a younger age, so it was nice to look back on it with a more mature perspective.

Key lyric: (from “What’s my age again?”) “Nobody likes you when you’re 23 … My friends say that I should act my age / What’s my age again? What’s my age again?”   (from “Dancing Nancies”) “Twenty-three and so tired of life / Such a shame to throw it all away / The images grow darker still / Could I have been anyone other than me?”

Age 24

What I listened to: “Gangsta’s Paradise” by Coolio

Where I was living: Chicago, Illinois

Why the song was relevant: A staple song for us as we were growing up, the song is a desperate and poetic introspection (seriously) by a trapped youth who sees his world dying around him. My birthday was only a couple months after my dad died, and I very much felt this way up until my birthday, when I finally realized that the rest of our lives somehow go on.

Key lyric: “Death ain’t nothin’ but a heartbeat away / I’m livin’ life, do or die, what can I say / I’m twenty-three now, but will I live to see twenty-four / The ways things are going I don’t know”

Age 25

What I listened to: “Soma” by The Strokes

Where I was living: Chicago, Illinois

Why the song was relevant: By this point, I was starting to feel like a somewhat settled adult. So the song reflects a certain resigned lightheartedness at the prospect of growing up. Though the song’s subject is theoretically talking about having taken a drug called soma for 25 years, some (myself included) interpret the “drug” here as life.

Key lyric: “Tried it once and they like it / Then tried to hide it / Says, ‘I’ve been doing this 25 years’”

Age 26

What I listened to: “Pink Moon” by Nick Drake

Where I was living: Chicago, Illinois

Why the song was relevant: Though the song doesn’t mention being 26, the artist died when he was 26. I had come to know Nick Drake’s music like many Americans…through a Volkswagen commercial. Since that time, I learned a lot more about a very talented musician who died far too young (apparently by 1 year – see Age 27). But the commercial, and subsequently the song, reminded me of an idealized picture of my relationships. Luckily, during this year of my life, I got to live out those relationships in very much that fashion.

Key lyric: (The music, not so much the lyrics, are what struck me about this song; I suggest checking out the link above)

Age 27

What I listened to: “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana; the rock anthem for Generation Whatever

Where I was living: Chicago, Illinois

Why the song was relevant: Age 27 is either a great or terrible time to be a famous musician. A remarkable number of notable singers have died of various offenses at 27. Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Robert Johnson, Kurt Cobain, and recently Amy Winehouse, just to name a very few. Some inevitably died of self-fulfilling prophesy. In any case, I was preparing to leave my beloved Chicago to join the Foreign Service, both of which were causes for introspection and a look back at one of the most formative musicians (for myself and for other musicians of the time) from my youth.

Key lyric: “With the lights outs, it’s less dangerous / Here we are now, entertain us / I feel stupid and contagious / Here we are now, entertain us”

Age 28

What I listened to: I might have listened to “By the river’s edge” by The Gaslight Anthem as I had planned to because it mentioned being 28, but I think I actually listened to “Muzzle” by The Smashing Pumpkins. Apparently this was the year I started to lose my memory.

Where I was living: Arlington, Virginia

Why the song was relevant: “Muzzle” was my favorite song from one of my very favorite albums growing up: Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. Those closely following that type of music frequently noted that the album had 28 songs. Moreover, “Muzzle” had significant meaning to me. I listened to it on repeat for about 10 hours when my first girlfriend broke up with me; gave a presentation on it at a retreat during senior year of high school as describing my life after I felt I had overcome some major issues; then secretly snuck it into my wedding reception’s playlist as a kind of capstone.

Key lyric: “I fear that I am ordinary, just like everyone / To lie hear and die among the sorrows / Adrift among the days / For everything I’ve ever said / And everything I’ve ever done is gone and dead / As all things must surely have to end / And great loves will one day have to part / I know that I am meant for this world.”

Age 29

What I listened to: “Slow Show” by The National

Where I was living: Brazzaville, Rep. of Congo (though I celebrated in Dayton, Ohio; appropriate since the band members are from southern Ohio, too)

Why the song was relevant: Definitely my favorite band right now and one that my wife, friends, some family, and I all share important memories and associations over. It was weird to be back visiting the U.S. after several months in the decidedly un-U.S.-like Congo, but listening to The National helped bring me home.

Key lyric: “You know I dreamed about you / for twenty-nine years before I saw you / You know I dreamed about you / I missed you for / twenty-nine years”

Happiness is a cold one

In Uncategorized on January 6, 2012 at 9:36 pm

I don’t think it’s too late to start off a post around this time by continuing to wish everyone Happy Holidays! For us, the gift giving didn’t end on Christmas, but extended at least through New Year’s with the gift of a food coma to ourselves. Now, it’s not unusual to have a holiday food coma, but ours wasn’t from tryptophan. It was HFCS.

That last Tom Jones reference aside, the title of the blog is a reference to the Beatles’ “Happiness is a warm gun” (NB: according to Wikipedia, that itself is a reference to Charles Schulz’ Peanuts comic proclaiming that “Happiness is a warm puppy,” which may have been an inadvertent reference by John Lennon, but which I find to be true. Still warm “gun” rhymes better with cold “one,” so that’s what I’m going with.). The cold one here is one of many sources of the afore-mentioned HFCS and also the holiday gift we gave ourselves.

At a certain few hardship posts around the world, the government will pay for a shipment of up to 2500 lbs of “consumable items.” The theory here actually matches the reality (true at least for Brazzaville) and goes that most food items to which we’re accustomed are not available, nor are local equivalents. Those that have followed this blog much will know that we’ve certainly had our difficulties finding things like cheddar cheese, non-rancid meat, and juice that isn’t 90% sugar. And so, with great Christmas cheer, we received our consumables shipment last week that could fairly be described as a ton of high fructose corn syrup (HFCS).

Now, for those of you not familiar with what a ton of HFCS looks like, I’m including pictures. Most of the time, though, it looks like Reece’s Pieces, Teddy Grahams, Pop-Tarts, Cheetos, Captain Crunch, and hundreds of cans of Mountain Dew and American Coca-Cola (the stuff here, like many places, uses sugar). And that’s what it looks like to us, piled up in our house. But it doesn’t look that way to our bodies, and despite what the corn lobby of America say, it doesn’t look like sugar either. It’s basically sugar on steroids. Actually, eating sugar then steroids might be healthier.

That, my friends, is what a refrigerator full of sugar and chicken broth looks like!

But boy oh boy does it taste good! At least, I think it does. For much of the last week, we’ve (actually, just me) been gorging ourselves on all the good treats we’ve been missing by being here. And my body and now the rest of me have become acutely aware that we’ve been without HFCS for sometime now because all of a sudden, I’m tired, worn out, have an aching stomach, and generally feel crappy. Ironic, of course, because we’ve complained that it was so hard to eat healthy in Brazzaville because of the limited vegetable options and the fact that everything is served in a soup of palm oil. Yet when I look around as a trudge around the streets now trying to burn off the inevitable weight gain that we shipped to ourselves, the Congolese look downright ripped, while I’m starting to have trouble seeing my belt buckle. (Of course, I’m probably going to live twice as long than most of the people here thanks to America’s medical system and the comfort and (relative) cleanliness I can surround myself in. Seems unfair, huh?)

Sweet, sweet nectar! And the Guinness ain't bad, neither.

So maybe it’s better after all that the title’s reference is too The Beatles’ self-destructive lyrics rather than the wholesome Peanuts reference to Snoopy (NB2: again, irony, as I’ll be eating Cheetos and drinking a Mountain Dew while watching the playoffs this weekend – go Bengals! – which will be covered by the MetLife blimp, painted with a giant Snoopy on the side). Still, cold comfort is sometimes the best you can get. Even if that coldness is a cold bottle of neon green teeth rot. Mmmmm!

Cereal and tuna and chicken chunks and canned fruit! Oh my!

 

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